The Core Three
Some of us walk along life with our heads constantly above water always doing the “right” thing, following direction, not asking too many questions, and maintaining a fairly enjoyable life without any major struggles or troubling circumstances. For the sake of this blog we’ll call these people “boyds”
And some of us walk along time with our heads constantly under water coming up for little breaths of airs; just enough to survive. These people, the “hooks”, always pick the wrong choices, wrong friends, and mostly end up in very troubling circumstances. They ask too many questions to all the wrong people, and find life confusing, irritating, and for the most part miserable.
Then there are people who can be referred to as the “bobbers” . They seem to attract many challenges in life and face them head on. They can be found struggling for breath under water and then fighting their way back to the water’s surface. They really enjoy overcoming the challenges, feeling stronger, faster, and more alive. These people follow direction for the most part, if they feel passionate about something that goes against those directions they will question the director and often do what they feel is right even if that means going against the norm a little. These people are passionate, move quickly, and find life troubling at times but can really see the beauty that life can offer.
Each group of people are needed in this world in order for communities to have balance. If we were all “boyds “no major changes would occur in life. If we were all “bobbers” we won’t have norms in life. If we didnt have the “hooks”, well, there would be no need for people to improve the quality of life.
In order for a life system to function properly the Core Three (boyds, hooks, and bobbers) need to be present in reality. Look at any social situation that you have been in that has offered you the most. Now categorize those people in the Core Three, what do you find?
Dimension in social development is extremely important.
Currently in Vancouver, for the most part, in the human services field, we do not have proper dimensions of the Core Three. Individuals who work in human services for a prolonged length of time and can do their job with their eyes closed (baby boomers) are creating a low tolerance for change. They are tired, often irritated by the system and so entrenched with their own reality that they can not see the “realities” of a changing world. Now I am just generalizing but from my experiences and the feedback I am receiving from others this is true. The new up and coming eager young professionals entering the fields of human services, are the “bobbers” they want change, they are willing to walk into any situation and do whatever they have to do to make it work. The problem here is that these “bobbers” lack experience. They are book smart, and have some practical experience but not the realities for the baby boomers. They are all about what they can do to make changes that they lack consideration of the years of experience and energy the baby boomers have put in. This causes frustration, friction, and desperation. All components of an unhealthy system. The baby boomers then take on the characterstics of the “hooks” and the eager young professionals go from “bobber” to ” hook” in crisis and a division in services and a decrease in quality services happen. In the mix the clients or human beings we are suppose to be properly serving go from being the “hooks” and become the “boyds”; living out a norm because no change really occurs.
Plain and simple, our human service workers are becoming clients. We are being bogged down with who said what, and what happened 10 years ago, and start thinking things like why the new kid on the block gets to have rights when they’ve done the time… See where I am going with this?
How can we help people when we, ourselves are acting out of ignorance, selfish, and distorted thinking? How can we help people if we ourselves need help? What kind of example are we giving when we won’t show up to a community meeting because their are people there that we dont like?
The more I learn and the longer I am in the field of human services in Vancouver the more contorted my face becomes and the more I go home with a headache every day. I am appauled to hear some of the stories from other workers in the field about their struggles to develop a sustainable community within the field. The anger, pettiness, and shameful insights cause me great frustration.
The difference with me is this. I choose to acknowledge that I am a “bobber” to the core and that I often display characterstics of the “hook” when I feel stunted in my environment. I start to take on other peoples drama, and go from not just listening to other stories but I take them on. I then go from “bobber” to the “hook” to the “boyd” artificially because I decide what’s the point of continuing to go with my true nature as a “bobber” if all I get is a lack of support. I say artificially because I know that I am not the “hook” and that I am not the “boyd” (which arent bad by the way, they just are) and then I get to those places I am not being authentic to myself.
(Definition: Dirty Diaper Syndrome
As a two year old enjoys sitting in his or hers newly filled diaper, moving side to side, and giggling eventually he or she realizes that every other kids are moving away from them because the diaper eventually starts to smell and soon enough it becomes uncomfortable and irritating and they want out….
The Dirty Diaper Syndrome refers to anyone over the age of 10 who sits in their shit and makes a stink in their environment.)
Last week I sat in it, that’s right, the inventor the Dirty Diaper Syndrome sat in her own shit for 3 weeks regarding this major issue in Vancouver. I became sick and tired of all the crap that I just sat in it like everyone else.
See I “own” an incorporated society that is working toward charitable status. Due to the fact that so many individuals are creating charities for their own benefit the government has put a lock down on registration and has made it much harder for people to get status. I completely agree with what they are doing because of the actions of others… but… it makes it much harder for me. So thanks to some very smart people in my corner they had suggested that I consider an agency agreement with a like minded society so that I could start accepting donations so I can start programming. Now although this may seem one sided, the other society would also gain all the exposure and growth that I would start. So in truth it is a win win situation, at least you would think.
Due to our “challenge” of not being able to work as a community in Vancouver this has not been easy for me. In fact, what I found when I approached a few well known non profits is that they were more protective of their own that they are not willing to stand for what they claim to stand for… helping people. I don’t truly blame them for being unsupportive but blame what we have created in this community, or, should I say lack their of.
When I was in Toronto in 2005/2006 working for the YWCA people we not like they are here. Every agency I encountered or worked with was supportive, shared resources, and was always willing to do whatever was needed in order to support the client’s well being. When I returned to Vancouver I realized this was not the case anymore. That instead of giving to support, people were taking and protecting their own interests… Have we become victims to cut backs? Have we forgotten why we do what we do for work? Have we all lost faith in what we truly believe?
Regardless I have decided to no longer to display Dirty Diaper Syndrome behaviours. I have not spent the last 10 years working for change to settling now for what people believe to be true. I would like to work with the “hooks” to understand where they are coming from so that I can build change. I would like to learn from the “boyds” on how to stand still enough to see harmony, and I want the other “bobbers” out there to help me complete the Core Three so that we can really make some great change in our communities by working together.
