Middle Ground.. Whats next? June 23, 2008
For the first time in years I find myself on a sailing boat, full mast with an amazing mapped out journey but only a slight breeze to carry me.
After returning from a month in Kenyan where I worked with a grass roots organization to develop programs for marginalized women I find myself with a new outlook. Upon return I was told I had a three month contract waiting for me to fulfill while my newly registered society was being funded. Little was I aware that manager of the non profit was not completely honest with me and after two days of work I was told they couldn’t fund the project.
In addition a woman who was suppose to market my coaching practice and provide me with clients in addition to this contract upon my return also failed to follow through.. And for the third, because we all know things come in threes, one of my top clients was doing so well he didnt need my services anymore. Yes that is what coaching is all about, assisting people to self reliance but this happened all in two weeks. Talk about going for security not worrying about my mortgage payments and bills to throwing my hands up and saying “what?!”.
The last 9 days have been a world wind of change and for the first time in a very long time I have felt true feeling of humility and exhaustion. I know as a coach I have the skills to provide all the opportunity but I also know that the universe has its way of speaking louder at times. (Apparently) before I left for Kenya I had asked the universe to allow me time for keeping up with life and my passion. I left for Kenya after six months of working 40+ hours a week and the last two months were filled with over 50 hours in a week of work. I was working 6-7 days a week, going to school, helping with family, and squeezing in fun when I could. There wasnt much balance but there was always energy- thus asking the universe for some reprive. And so, the old saying “Be careful what you ask for” comes into play.
Here I am 9 days into my unemployment, working hard to get my society funded with an amazing map with unbelievable opportunity ahead and no wind. I have a mortgage to pay and projects to run but little to no funds. So, my wish was granted, lots of time to keep up with life.
Ah! the beauty of wishes.
What did learn in Kenya? Well many things, but the biggest is that in my work is the importance of middle ground. Kenyans live in a society of extremes. There is no middle ground. There is no waiting or wondering, there is only happening or not happening. Wishes are hard come by. Chances for change are slow. Without getting into the political elements and sticking to the human elements I am a creatue of constant change. From the age of 10 there was change and apparently I needed this dose of humility to understand the importance of my work and the important of balance but more importantly the importance of having a middle ground.
Last night I picked up my favourite book by Dr. Wayne Dyer which I use quite a bit in my work. Chapter 3 states:
You Can’t Give Away what You Don’t Have … “No man is occupied in doing a very difficult thing and doing it very well, ever loses his self respect”- George Bernard Shaw
In the 10 Secrets of Success and Inner Peace Ch. 3, Dyer talks about the importance of positive self dialogue and changing what’s inside.
In coaching, we talk about the importance of connecting with your purpose and passion and developing an awareness of your capabilities…
Tonight I take this time to indulge in a space that connects me with the spirit of who I am what I do for work and ask you the reader to take your doses of humility to improve your life quality and use it to restore your drive and connect you with your passion.
Finding Passion and Purpose: The Eight Elements of Success June 12, 2008
Current cultural influences within North America have led to a generation of women who have been raised more by societal values and media influences than by the more traditional influence of family. It is therefore not surprising that we have so many young women unsettled in their ways and looking for more.
As a result young women in today’s world often have so many demands to be a certain way in order to please others that they often get confused with what they really want in life. Although having a sense of belonging in this complex world is important it is not as important as finding personal self fulfillment as an individual first. As women we are often raised in the reverse; we do not see ourselves and our own development as a priority worthy of attention.
Understanding the value of self can give women the opportunity to achieve greater resilience in life. By offering women the opportunity for self exploration in a safe environment and by teaching the importance of valuing mind, body and spirit this journey into womanhood can become a fulfilling time in a young women’s life free of fear and self destruction.
The idea of challenging ones own self to reach above the societal bar of mediocrity to find personal drive and passion is the key. In doing so, we can create the elements of a successful life. The definition of success needs to be a personal one without judgment or preconceived ideas. All goals are worthy and each individual holds the key to their personal definition of success.
In my work with youth I have found that there are certain elements that when present create the capacity for success. They are;
- Self Evaluation- Taking a look at where we are within our own success and happiness and establishing a connection with our own personal values and morals;
- Understanding- Limitations are self imposed;
- Courage- Stepping up to the plate of our own true intentions in life and working through personal life challenges;
- Co-operation- Working as a team towards a common goal, while creating supportive relationships;
- Exploration- Exploring formal life skills and how they help us to grow;
- Self Worth- Applying learned skills to our lives, taking responsibility for our sense of self, and experiencing the benefits; and
- Service- Giving back to a community and embracing the concept of personal responsibility.
In essence I see these elements as mandatory life rules to achieve personal growth and self-realization. They provide a way for young women to discover their own success and in turn become advocates for new community values. The Elements of Success are the building blocks that people need in order to achieve their potential. Each element provides a piece of the puzzle towards personal success.
