Breath its only a moment in time February 6, 2009

Over the last month of taking on a full time position as a case coordinator where I coach people into work and life transitions all day long up to 12 people a day I’ve come to realize two very important things about human beings

First, we live in a world that is filled with anxiety and depression- people unsatsified with life in so many different ways from relationship to their employment to their own self. People are continuously taking out their feelings of inadequacy not only on themselves; destroying relationships with the world around them; building up anger based out of sadness and fear.

Secondly, no person I have never met has a fear of failure, people have a fear of success. What I’m come to realize at my young age (with a ton of indifferent and adverse experiences) is that we are born into this world pure with a purpose to find purpose- to find happiness, wholeness through love and passion. And until one realizes that, one can not get healing or find a path toward fulfillness in life. We all do it, in different ways, the key is taking a little look at why.

Connecting to your anxieties/depression from a place of being dissatfied in life (as long as its not a chemical imbalance in which some simple medication can help) can either create some anxiety about the anxiety or if looks at in a place of standing tall and a place of that we have now the opportunity for wholeness, one foot in front of the other we can rebuild a new directive path for ourselves. It will require humility, fight, and faith.

While I was in Kenya last year I did workshop for the Red Cross of Nairobi. The workshop held 46 women between the ages of 18-64 and 3 men one of which was a respected pastor.  I met with an energy that was not quite welcoming but not quite welcoming. Here they saw a young white woman coming in to tell them how they needed to live life. It took me about 20 mins to get those looming thoughts that I was there to tell them how to live rather than give them tools for a more fulfilling life. These people were from the biggest and hardest slum in Kenya and had far more life hardships and unfair circumstances  that I could ever imagine. After an hour sharing with them about work life balance, about family, community, and spirit, find passion within their own worlds a beautiful energy developed.

At the end of two hours a woman stood up and spoke directly to me, in mixed Swahili and English telling me that all her life she thought God as she knew him was punishing her, that he had given her poverty, abuse, and many children as a punishment and for the first time every she had no fear and was ready to live with purpose on her new path; sharing that energy with her children so that they would grow to know different than see.  Tears ran down my face.

The pastor stood and asked me if he could come to the front of the tent where the wind was blowing the dirt around in the warm air, he came up and blessed me… More tears of gratitude.

I learnt so many things that day and so many things as the days pass. Through my hardships, adverse challenges, deaths, and life in general I’ve had to conquer so many anxieties and roller coasters of emotion but learning to exam my life in a deeper more meaningful way has allows me to smile once Ive exited the tunnel and have faith when I’m in it.

Take a moment to look at you, develop you, explore your dreams, passions, and connect to your own purpose you might be surprised at what you find.. next week… I’m post some ways to connection and understand whats cards are being dealt and how to handle it

Finding and Connecting with Your Purpose 2009 January 1, 2009

A new year brings people into a place of thinking about new beginnings and goals to be set; people taking pen to paper and start making a list of things to do and actions to take… and over 70% never really follow through.. why?

Most people get really excited about a new start and use the new year as a great opportunity to make it all happen while others get overwhelmed with change and find it hard to adapt to new routines, changing personal thoughts, and staying on track. Often though what they forget is the pressure we create to make it all happen that they over do it and within 2 months give up or procrastinate until we have to make the resolution again for the following year.

One of the best ways to make resolutions is to create space for new beginnngs; think spring cleaning.

Cleaning out closets (both in the mental and physical sense). How can you bring in new if the old is taking up too much room? How can you create a new positive energy to surround your goals if you are hanging on to things that are dragging you down or impede your new way of being?

Instead of writing a list of things you want start with a list of things you have that you want to lay to rest. If it’s a healthier you that you want try writing a list of all things that you want gone and why you want them gone and then create a of things you want to replace it all with.

Try setting goals throughout the year rather than just Jan. 1st and make them solid. Be Specific, have a plan of action, affirmations that support your new cause, and breath… remember that it doesnt have to happen all at once.. change for alot of people takes time so start small and move toward bigger and better.

One of the toughest things for people to do is to hang on to their purpose for change. Why is it really important to you? As soon as your connection to your resolutions gets replaced with “maybe” later or “I’ve been so good I can back off now”  the purpose you put out for yourself when you felt an urge to create it in the first place is lost.

Stay connected to your purpose…Connected to you, your wants, dreams, and passion. After all, you is all you have!

How does one average man become an above average influencial leader December 2, 2008

How does one average man who was once an orphan become a man who changes people around the world’s lives in his books and lectures?

Tonight I saw my favourite author Dr. Wayne Dyer in a lecture in at the Queen Elizabeth theatre in Vancouver, BC and in a matter of 3 hours of listening to his words a sense of freedom came over me that I can not describe.

As an early Christmas present for my mom I bought a ticket for both of us to hear Wayne Dyer talk about changing your thoughts and connecting with your purpose while embracing the deepest Truth one can possibly try to embrace in life.

Speaking about his discoveries in the Tao te Ching I heard something that I have been desperately trying to connect with and realized in the middle of the lecture that the reason I could not connect to it was because I was trying. Dyer spoke of an inner truth that could only be found by letting go and just being. So much was I trying to overcome what he called “Menes” the engrained beliefs of our upbringing and trying to fight them off that I was spending more time fighting than I was giving what I believe it to true.

Fear does not equal Love, Love does not equal Fear… both need respect in order to free Fear we must stay in Love … “Fear can not live in Love and Love can not live in Fear”

He talked about the ever so great “SECRET” and how he believes that one thing was missing… To attract what you want is not about spending time in the material of what we want but what we can give.. The more we want more we stay in ego the more we ask for what we can give the more we will receive…

I’ve ended up with so many amazing experiences in my life through mentors, people, education, and travel because I was not attached to having more but being about giving more… wanting more knowledge to share, more love to give and somewhere along the line my ego developed at such a horrendous pace (my fear) that it manifested itself by stripping away all my “comforts” over the last little while. For the last two weeks I have experienced more anxiety and insominia than in my teenage years and I was feeling like my world was falling apart when in fact, as my epiphany brough to light tonight has it, I am only becoming more alive.

As a life coach I felt my life was all about knowing it all and walking my talk, if I got down and out I wasn’t on my game and who was I to call myself a coach… boy was I missing something in a big way… Being a life coach is about living life and learning from your life cycles in a way that deepens your understanding of life and success, in whatever way we preserve success, as this is an individual process. I am human after all and as long as I am learning and moving on; not staying in a state of fear or in a belief that I am “failing” and allowing it to absorb me.

If you believe you have lemon juice… lemon juice you will have. If you believe you have an opportunity to have lemonade… lemonade it will be.

Your thoughts become you and you become your thoughts…

What I have feared most about having an extremely successful life ( in mind, body and spirit… education, health, career, great inner peace) is that my success will also bring me less compassion, and more greed that I will no longer would be able to relate and empathize with the people I being working so hard to help. And (this is what I call a holy moment.. a moment when the clouds open up and the sun comes out.. ahhhhhhhh) this is what has happened. Because I’ve feared so much I have blocked the path for deeper success.. my fear  outweights my passion and love for what I do… When I have believed in my path and has faith.. all these amazing things started to occur in my life.. when it got bigger than I thought I could handle and closer to my goals the fear started in stronger and things started to crumble… go figure…

So tonight I start the next chapter of this book (my life) with a deeper understand of the law of attraction in ways I can not even really being to describe.. but a clearly that is so strong I think I’m going to have the best sleep I’ve had in weeks… or maybe since I started on this crazy journey…

To any of who have not heard of Wayne or have a mentor/teacher.. pick up his latest book

For anyone searching for a CD that will help with your meditation…. check out a CD by

Cecilia

For amazing books by Wayne Dyer

Being Normal doesn’t mean “fitting in” November 29, 2008

Over the years of working with people and with the recent events of my life I’ve realized a few things that for some reason stick out in my mind today.

One very simple but profound thing that kept running through my mind today after a conversation with a friend this morning is that being in the realm of what society calls “normal” doesnt mean that you have to fit in a mold of what society thinks is right or for some wrong.

Being normal is about being who you are and accepting that flaws and corks and a roller coaster life is all part of the game. The more knowledge you have about who you are and how you present yourself in the world is the important thing.

We often unconsciously try to be normal looking to outside avenues of self fulfillment rather than looking in.

Understanding our likes and dislikes our up and downs, trials and tribulations and accepting them as part of evolvement in age is what it is ALL about.

To me anyways, what I have discovered with some of the most integral, peaceful, and successful people I know is that true normalcy comes from self awareness and acceptable. Its about taking care of yourself in all aspects (mind, body, and spirit) and challenging yourself to your full potential. Being is about being normally you.. not changing for someone or something but embracing all aspects of your being and the body that carries you.  All of the most simply AMAZING and INSPIRING people I know are very self aware, very passionate about who they are and what they believe but to the world of normalcy are eccentric and perhaps to some crazy. But what they really are is truly connected to who they are in all its aspects… go figure… they arent cookie cutter!

I have recently put myself on a 14 day yoga challenge. Every day at my new yoga location which offers an array of yogi styles to get reconnected to who I am from the inside out. I’m am FAR from perfect and try to take on WAY too much but over the weeks maybe even months I have put an idea in my head that how much I do and how much I take on and am successful at determines how much people love being around me. What I realized when everything was temporary taken away from me is that people like how ambition I am and how I can create something great out of nothing BUTwhat they love is my friendship and my normal corky self. The one that makes them laugh or helps when they need it. It is my creativity, and passion when I am connected and even when I have an off day.

Limiting your dreams or your life and waiting for change or accepting that you are too different to do anything about how un-normal you are is something too many people do. “Why try when it just won’t happen? right?” Sure.. if that is where you are at that is where you are at.. and in that tone.. it is something that is far too normal in this world.

So my conclusion to this epiphany today bringing me to write this and ask any readers out there .. how normal are you really? How much do you know yourself? Your friends? Your family? Your life? Your dreams? How much are  you spending out of your busy worlds to evaluate how much you love your life and how you are in it? How much are you truly being YOU!

Becoming a Boardroom Toy to Pay Your Bills is Growing in Popularity November 26, 2008

I wrote this article for my monthly article in the Georgia Straight but its been a week and no response from the editor over there.. so here it is!

Truth or Trash:

Becoming a Boardroom Toy to Pay Your Bills is Growing in Popularity

Having been a busy woman working on my education and building my career of the last five years being in a relationship hasn’t been my top priority. Though over the last year, I’ve started to date with a little more energy.

From being set up by friends to meeting guys at local clubs to yes, online dating, I’ve tried it all with little long term success. After this last attempt at using a popular online site and meeting one guy after another with no chemistry I was fed up. If it wasn’t some pervert looking for a little action or a guy looking to play games then it was a great guy who would be great for a friend. Why waste time that I could use toward friends, family, and my work? I deleted my profile and left it in the hands of the universe for the time being.

One night a few weeks ago having finished up work late on a Friday night I decided to have a night in. After browsing craigslist for some Madonna tickets and a snowboard I began to wonder about who goes on the site for dating. My curiosity got the best of me and I started to search the posts and got an idea to do a little experiment.

That night I posted two ads on craigslist. One was genuine, sincere and titled “Why am I posting on craigslist?” The two paragraph ad described who I was and what I was looking for stating “I doubted I would find what I was looking for on here but who knows”. The second ad was flaky, unreal, and demanding titled, “I’m a Princess and I want it all NOW!” The title may have made readers think something perverse but the contents of the two paragraph message only indicated that the woman writing the ad was fed up with dating and she wanted a strong successful professional man to pamper her with shopping, spa days, dinners, and no games. The results blew my mind and my email inbox.

Over night I had 60 emails in my inbox and can you guess which ad got the most emails? That’s right, the princess ad. I have 52 emails from that ad from some very successful entrepreneurs, businessman, and the like. They had attached pictures and very descriptive financial and “other” information. The other 8 emails were sincere men looking for love. The ratio was unbelievable. After three days that ad drew the likes of over 100 men in Vancouver all apparently successful and all wanting to have a princess with no strings attached. The ages varied from 28-60 years of age, some married, some single, but all wanted a sugar babe. Two emails though stated I should look in the adults section to find exactly what I was looking for. Out of curiosity I headed over to the adult gig section and what I saw was appalling.

Although I know that prostitute is one of the oldest professions I could not believe the new twist. This section is bombarded with ads from business men looking to be some hot young poor college student’s sugar daddy. There are ads from single young mother’s looking for help with bills or young girls who didn’t budget well and willing to offer sex for “help”. When did boardroom sugar daddy’s become such a popular internet niche that a special section needs to be made just for it? And since when did so many young women decide that this was the way to pay the bills?

Could we blame it on lack of morals? On the economy? Or is it just the instant gratification of sex and power? Either way, I wonder what this world is coming to!

The Power of Good Deeds and its Inspiration to Others November 17, 2008

In world full of life shattering stories, tradegy, economic busts, oil prices rising and falling, people gainfully employed and then losing there jobs its hard to stay focused on all the amazing things life has to offer.

So many people walk along life not noticing all the remarkable beauty which is or can be created in a moment of passion….

Today I read a blog about a woman called Anna  I spoke with a few months ago on the phone regarding the work I did in Nairobi. Anna was heading to NAirobi to volunteer for AIDS education and wanted to take the same sustainable feminine pads I took with me with her and needed some advice.  Little did I know that the reason Anna was raising funds and bringing Goods 4 Girls with her was because of a blog I had posted on the Lunapds website after I returned home to Vancouver. As I was reading her blog about her adventures at the post office to get her package I stumbled across her blog that she started before she left. When I read that she had gone through all this trouble to raise  money and bring over 40 sustainable feminine kits for girls in schools because of something I wrote I smiled.

Forever I have been talking to people about the importance of good deeds and being inspiring; not to get fame or fortune but because you never know who is looking and how it might effect someone else’s life. Today I realized how important that really is and how much is really works. I did what I did because I felt the passion inside of me to make a different, not because someone was looking. I wrote the article so it might educate others on what is happening in other parts of the world, not to gloat about my charity. And because of this honesty and energy someone else was able to do the same. I think its such a remarkable turn of events when the world turns like that.

From teaching children about manners and generosity to holding the door for someone in need to smiling and saying hello to random people each act effects people in different ways

So what can you do to offer more? Is it visiting an aging grandparent? Maybe volunteering at the local SPCA? Or maybe its baking some delicious scones or muffins and sharing them with your neighbourhood.

Be brave and do something bold.. Be proud of who you are and what you have to share with others you never know how it will change the world!

Its a long one… Integrity and Values are a Tough Sell October 21, 2008

Truth or Trash: Integrity and Values in Today’s World is Losing the Battle

In a world that is based on financial accumulation, instant gratification, and superficial fulfillment how does one connect with old fashion morals, values, and community? This has been a question racing through my mind the last couple days.

As a single young professional woman in a city that is based in cliqued groups of wealth and social status with a strange air of superficial energy I have been trying to make sense how I’ve become dissatisfied from what really matters in life.

Bring brought in a strong European family there wasn’t a lot of personal choices growing up and when choices were presented they were limited. The core importance of family, respect, community, and connection were the values that were most important not having everything I wanted.

As I grew up and my eyes opened to the outside world and what it really had to offer I found myself rebelling against everything I was taught as a child and teen to discover how far I could really go in life. Many times it brought me to situations that results in some heavy consequences and others brought me live and discover different cities and cultures in the world, work with some amazing people, and discover what my full potential really was, but it wasn’t until the last couple years that I realized that had I not been conditioned with self discipline and family values I would not have pushed as hard to spread my wings but still reminded grounded in who I was and what I had to offer this crazy world of ours.

Working with young people and communities that truly suffer from the lack of basic needs I was forever grateful and always willing to go above and beyond the call of duty which many people found noble and inspiring but which I believed was my duty as a human being who was part of a community. Recently however, I have spend a good amount of time outside of my work and connected to people who were not brought up with strong family values; people who live in the world of money, gain, power, appearance, and who’s integrity although present was based on instant gratification and a “me first attitude”. I have spend time watching television, which I never really have in the past, and found myself flipping daily through the newspaper seeing what the world reads on a daily basis and hours watching how people interact and communicate with one another. I thought since I finally had the time I might as well see what I have been missing. What I found disgusted me. Not only did I see what I had not been missing, I found that I had become self absorbed, disconnected from family and real friends, only interested in superficial banter; seeking instant gratification in all areas of my life. In a matter of weeks I had become completely barriers my values and became in a sense broken. After having this realization I spoke to a dear friend who told me to pick up the book “The Art of Possibilities” by Benjamin and Rosamund Zander.

Benjamin and Rosamund talk about social justice, values, connection, and contribution to the world throughout this amazing easy to read book. After reading the book I realized how amazingly disconnected I could be if I didn’t pay attention to balance in life. It made me realize how the world’s injustices can cause people to detach from their core. Strong family upbringing or not!

After a week being frustrated and powerless I decided to take some action and start doing some of the things that were important to me, the same way I work with my clients. I made lists of things that were important to me in my work, in relationships with people, and in my physical, mental, and spiritual self. That Saturday a friend and I hiked the Chief up in Squamish and sitting up there on top of that mountain over looking the valley below I reconnected with what matters. I realized that many people sit on the top of their own world and are looking down as a way of being literally on top of the world but when I looked down I became scared of how small I really was in the larger scheme of things and what I could offer or contribute even though small was what mattered the most.

Day in and day out I’ve seen people suffer from unfulfilling lives. Being it a single woman like myself sick of the lack of dating options in Vancouver or the man feeling limited in his career, or the couple that is married and deciding to give up, or the young girl thinking she has had enough of this life and wants to leave the pain. All have the same core issues of being disconnected much like I did. They all wanted something or someone to give them more than they were willing to contribute either to their own lives or to those around them.

Too many people get caught up with how to be, what to wear, and where to go that they either get eaten by the desire and live as shallow as they can or rebel against it all to find freedom and connection. Yet that misguided want to feel complete what often is missed is the personal values and integrity that will ultimately bring them to the real fulfillment.

Be it political matters, financial or housing crisis, famine, abuse, crime or depression we live in a world that continuously wants and needs more. People will go to any lengthens to pay the bills (as I’ve recently discovered the magnitude of this)and to feel like they are on the top of whatever circle they are in, which shows more about the human character than we tend to admit but few people will take the time to exam their lives to gain a deeper value in life and connection to community.

There are many places in Vancouver that are looking for volunteers why not search for one that will spark your passion for life and what really matters or right a list of all the things that are truly important to you and make it your mission to connect to all of them.

New Article: Trash or Trash- Does Sex Sell at too High a Cost? September 10, 2008

http://www.straight.com/article-160937/truth-or-trash-sex-sells-cost-too-high

New article on Georgia Straight online August 11, 2008

Take a look at my new article onlineTrash or truth: Communication Breakdowns between Mothers and Daughters

 

 

 

http://www.straight.com/article-157260/truth-or-trash-communication-breakdowns-between-mothers-and-daughers

Lunapads Blog on my trip to Kenya June 23, 2008

http://blog.lunapads.com/2008/06/loretta-and-lunapads-in-kiberia/#more-265